that moment when you think about what you should have said and what you shouldn't have randomly blurted out.

My job interview went really awesome said in the most sarcastic manner you can think of. It was my first so I never really knew how I did until I know if I passed.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep thinking about the things I just said to them and suddenly thinking of things I should have said instead then suddenly grabbing my pillow and start hitting it with my fists and yeah, I’m alright.

I underwent three interviews that took the whole day out of me. I didn’t have much sleep because I needed to wake up early. The first one was a panel interview where during the entire thing, the interviewer realized that my upper chest is getting red like it suddenly has rashes on it and asked what’s happening to it. That simply means that I’m so stressed of being in this kind of situation where five people are staring at me and asking me questions about how unique I am, how do I handle conflicts and stress and how is my relationship with my siblings. I could have screamed
.
After the interview, I kept thinking about the things I just said. Where the heck did all my words come from. I’ve realized that I’ve said things that I never really say at all. Like when asked if I have any outdoor activities, I said, “I don’t have much sports. I go to the mall sometimes but I think it’s a waste of time and money. Well recently, I’ve taken pleasure in riding trains and watching through the windows to where it’ll go.” Then when asked about the siblings, I just said, “well, we are just normal kinds of siblings that quarrels with each other.” What? Really?!

I hope I pass. >_<

500 days of summer

Just watched this movie and I liked it. I don’t understand why some people hated it. A love story that didn’t end like the usual love story just makes me curious. It’s about the most hated reality. That there's isn't always a happy ending, that we don't live in a fairy tale, that we can't trust too much on our heart, that for once, we have to fail on something to learn something new.

i made myself bleed today. fun.

i finally finished the intravenous therapy training.


before that happened, i accidentally pricked myself with the syringe while demonstrating how to incorporate medicine in the bottles. i knew i should've stopped hating needles. i was already snaking blood around my finger so I truthfully confessed it to my preceptor. it’s a good thing she was extremely kind! and didn’t deduct points for bleeding.


all went well after that. i managed to find the vein on the last procedure, and did it once. i think my partner had the most beautiful hand! :)

Big City Rules

• walk fast or get trampled
• don’t get scared of foot bridges over highways, and don’t look down
• there’s always an alternate route to somewhere
• bring extra fare money just in case you get lost
• plan your trips
• shove yourself in the crowd if you want the next train ride home
• everything must be a race
• bring a decent umbrella
• always bring a water bottle
• ask if you are lost
• pretend you aren’t lost
• get used to the heat
• malls aren’t amusing if it wasn’t for the food

Flipped.

(GIFSource: evannalynch)
 ...
To Bryce, 
You never knew love got stuck in your head before you realized. It's when the girl you love starts to hate you. Every single moment she tried to reach you before, you kept pulling away. Now, that moment when she has finally given up, you missed it. You missed a precious fragment of time in your life. And all you could do is stare at her from afar wishing you could have done things the other way around.
...

i'm looking through the crowd, watching the trains go past me, and people hurrying to get the ride home. and me just standing there stagnant, feeling like everything is flying away, time, sounds, footsteps, and my senses.

i'm procastinating

por-cas-ti-yeah.
i’m supposed to be studying again. about how some IV therapy seminar i just got myself into. if not, i’m not going to get a license for it. hah.
i lost my geeky self for real. that person who tends to study really hard is gone. i used to be like a bookish kid who has done nothing else but study. that was me in elementary. but the truth is, i can’t really remember how i did good during that time. i guess growing up ruins it.

the clock ticks
turns head sideways
puts head in neutral
blanket’s askew
remove blanket
puts arm over eyes
removes again
fixes uncomfortable legs
turns
removes pillow
places over head
then hugs it over
gets blanket
curls into a ball
lies on back
lies on left
closes eyes
turns
repeats randomly

hey there insomnia...

you made me think of making myself breakfast this early because i feel hungry again
also, i could make iced coffee right now except i can’t because that means i won’t be able to sleep

it’s 3 AM.

something happened today, and it involves lasagna.

i FOUND good news.

-for the love of food

I found a panda on the internet! can I keep it?