Tomorrow and Graduation Day

Tomorrow was the same day of my graduation last year. The same day where I received my diploma, and made a bow before the crowd. The same where I thought the food, the fireworks and my family and friends were the only best thing.

That same fateful day triggered a new beginning of my life. It’s the part where I no longer qualify as college student but someone armed with new responsibilities and more strains or must I say strings of challenges to face. Someone you’d label as an adult, though without a job yet, but still. Its the moment when I get to sail in uncharted waters known as reality and try my hardest to push through its uncertainties and storms. That day, I was on my own, given the power to make life decisions which I haven’t had the slightest clue to what would resolve.

Tomorrow, to the oddest circumstances, is the same day where a group of uncertain people will deliberate whether or not I am fit to work for them. I’ve luckily made it through their exams. I’ve experienced being grilled in their panel interview and a series more where I made it through alive. Now, having passed the latter so far, I qualified for their 2-months of training. The same which I didn’t look at so seriously until I’ve waltzed through their objective exams and hand-on exams on skills I haven’t had a clue before. Then there’s the on-the-job-sort-of-exam itself where I get to practice my profession on an actual clinical area.  I admit I was rough around the edges, with everything blaring at my face—diagnostics, exams, charts, medications, time, patients, people telling me to remember this and that and I must move faster—I have no idea how I pulled through. I was scared for some reasons, since it's my first time to actually work but had this feeling of happiness whenever I get a job done. The last week, however, was the worst because I’ve never been humiliated so much. Mistake upon mistake, they fall from my grasp, and there were two staffs, who for the worst time, keeps distracting me in every moment they lay eyes on me, laughing at my mistakes and challenging my patience in whatever way. I swore, I would stop their mocking the next time I see them. They were actually one of my eye openers to something with regards to humans, telling me that some people aren’t nice in whatever way you strain to look at them. But looking back at the entire experience of the training, if I sum up every single thing I've been through, I am grateful and thankful that I learned something new.

I hope tomorrow all goes well. I choose to be a believer now. I have faith that I’ve done my best in the training. I pray that this faith I hold will give me a peek on something to look forward to for the coming days.

For some reason, March 30th seems symbolic for one ordinary day. It’s an anniversary of the day I was given excruciating freedom which I’m still trying to get used to. And tomorrow’s event is something to celebrate for with wavering news that might become the next best thing.

kwentong ICT

ngayon lang ako naasar ng todo sa buong talambuhay ko. ngaun lang ako napahiya, pinag-tawanan at pinagtripan. kahit ano man nangyari, kahit ano man ibato nilang pang-asar sa akin ng mga oras na iyon, ako’y pilit paring ngumingiti.  

seryoso. kung ka-level ko lang ang mga taon ninyo, o pag-iisip man lang, kung ituturing ko na kayong mga kaibigan, ipapakita ko sinyo kung gaano ka lupit ang sarkastikong-nilalang na natutulog sa aking kaibuturan. 

kung pwede lang humirit ng, “nakakakita na ba kayo ng lumilipad na chart na gawa sa bakal?” ako hindi pa eh. o, “naranasan nyo na bang mahiwa ang inyong tyan ng isang bandage scissor?” wala lang.

“hostile” na kung hostile! ano ba? kung pwede ko lang kayong sigawan, nagawa ko na. pero mahina pang armas yun. kung meron lamang akong kapangyarihan ni Bertong Badtrip, pinakawalan ko na. buti na lang may pumipigil saakin. 

magpasalamat na lamang kayo at nakangiti pa ako. 

“si maj, nakangiti na naman oh!” tengene..