Stereotyped Nurse

People should stop stereotyping nurses. But it can’t be helped when most of the reasons why a high school graduate chooses to take a difficult four year course of Nursing was to get herself somewhere else than the Philippines and earn better.

I wasn’t thinking about that part a lot. I didn’t know what to do back then in high school. I was clueless, indecisive and scared. I haven't exactly made a framework for my life. So I just listened to my mother and my encouraging uncle and took the course I never thought would change me.

The truth is, I don’t want to go anywhere right now. I can’t just go abroad and be rich, as my mother says. Being that seems a blur and I can’t take it. It sounds dark and gloomy because I’m going to be sent to some far off place, alone for the sake of some things. I can’t grasp the thought of putting that as part of my dreams. When I told my mother this, she was upset that I’d be okay being just what I am right now, taking my steps slowly and not looking and running toward the a ‘bright’ future she sees ahead of me.

I feel contentment. I haven't exactly understood the concept of people working hard for the sake of getting rich. It seems pointless and endless. As humans, we do keep asking for a lot of things, and when we finally get hold of that thing, there will be a time when the object will wear us out and we'll get tired and look for something else. I'm the person who thinks there are much real things to keep.

I don’t have those expensive things my batch mates show-off every time I go to school. Yes I do want those things, clothes, gadgets, and what-else, but the crave is dead so long ago. I’ve been contented with the fact that I can’t have everything that I want. I really do. Yeah, I complain a lot about it but it just ends there and nothing else. I’m just this, plain shirt and pants, and I don’t want to ask anything anymore since I feel like can’t really have it and having it doesn’t exactly mean true happiness.

Is this bad? People taught me to always dream big. Always hold on to a dream and you will get it. I seem to have not let these words sink in to me. It’s like I’ve given up on a big dream and go contented on little ones. What is my dream?

My dream, if I could remember well, was finish college, find a job that I’d be happy with, help my family, own a dream house and travel places. I’ve said this when I was like in a retreat back in elementary. It sounds so good. Well thought of. No specifics. Just that. I’ve done the college part. Great.

Next is find a job I’d be happy in. This part is difficult now. Because one, I haven’t found a job yet. But I 'm on my way on it having passed my very first job interview in a hospital. Two, I’ve had this idea or something that the only way you’d be happy with your work is when you like what you do and people in that workplace keep inspiring you. Where do I find this place?

You see. I might be really lost right now. I just want to be good at what I’d be doing soon. Being a nurse. That’s just it. I want to be a good nurse.