Christmas Eve

For the first time, I spent this day away from my family. Apparently I'm still stuck in a big city that doesn't seem to be closest to home whatever way I adapt to look at it.

A few hours on Christmas eve, I bid my time in a long ride in a jeepney from Laguna to Alabang and to Taguig. I watched for a fragment of time how different kinds of people prepare for this special day. A tightly knit family was spending it in a mall, two dressed ladies must be on their way to be with their friends, a guy must be drunk since he can't get off the jeep properly. From afar, there's another kind of family making their way through a market and then there's a tall man seemingly off from work waiting to get a ride back home. You can't miss the people still on the streets at such time, selling Christmas things to people that pass by or blaring lights and sounds in a random house celebrating.

This time, I didn't have a feast like my childhood days, or played the speakers on our computer with Christmas songs just to feel the spirit. No moments of getting comfortable in my home cozy in a chair near the TV. My family is so far from where I'm at. The people I spend this day with aren’t present.

I arrived home tired from a long journey. It's already past 10 on my watch. The neighbors had their turn of loudspeakers to bring out a festive cheer. The children were glad lighting their own tiny piece of fireworks that wouldn't explode. There seems to be more people outside singing along with a karaoke, a group hung up on their corner drinking and a few brought out their prepared food outside for everyone.

I didn't think a lot. I didn't even want to think and feel anything. Like I said, I've given up asking for things that wouldn't happen. I made myself a dish, ate a small portion and have the internet tire me to sleep.