generalized anxiety disorder

i think i’m starting to have this thing. because a few months from now, i’m going to take the board exam of some sort. T_T

symptoms were:

• fatiguability
• irritability
• restlessness
• muscle tension

when it’s daytime, i’d always yawn like i’m too tired to wake up. 3-4 times in a week, after a long day, you’d see me asleep in my bed till 8 pm and i haven’t ate my dinner because i’m too tired. my friends then starts to notice that i kept having a “flat affect” with eyes half closed and staring at nowhere. i think i just need more sleep but i think its lazy and i’d rather do other things than snoozing. (?) i’d just fall asleep when i’m either reading a book or staring at the *post-its across my wall.

then i’ve become irritable too. i have no idea when i had this type of temper. whenever people kept bothering me at home when i’m alone doing some school work, i become really terrible and irritable. i need to control myself whenever i kept saying awful words. i become upset more easily. then after which, i would recuperate by being alone again and hating what i just did.

i’m just not sure about the last two symptoms. i can’t tell because when i’m restlesss, i fight it by thinking. maybe i’ve been thinking restlessly and it doesn’t show physically. muscle tension, not yet(?) anyway.

wah! i should stop thinking about what my disorder is. but GAD isn’t the only thing on my disorder list. but whatever.

you should try studying psychiatry. it makes you think what you really are. what your disorder is. like i do. this is what happens when you know things some don’t.

*my post-its has things i need to memorize before the exam. :)