rebirth

a blue flame blazed
lit with warmth for
a person who've grown cold
weary amongst the earth
he trekked and went
but the fire finally bent
when years passed
time never noticed
and it left him curled up
in a black pile of ashes

Traffic Jam

So calm and so composed, I rode my way through the chaotic traffic this morning. The jeep was moving too slowly and the cars are honking at every chance they get. And all the other vehicles are at their slowest pace I haven’t yet seen. Deep inside my intestines, I feel like I’m about to explode because I’m going to be late for the first time in the worst time.

There were three long roads I’d have to excruciatingly go through every time I go to work. The first one was the longest time I spent myself in because this time, it was unbelievably messed up with all kinds of vehicles skewed and blocking every space they could get into. The end result was me pleading and praying on every negative thought that I’d get to work in time. As the jeep I rode has finally made it on the next route, it was moderately slow, and that slight change in pace made me breathe a little bit easier. But as I looked at my watch, I actually have 10 minutes left. The third road was the part I felt like racing, begging for anything that I could teleport or run my way through.

I should have left the house earlier. I wish I wasn't asking to be a late too much. I wish my cousin didn't state that I was going to be late without enough justification because her words was ringing in my head the moment I left the house. I hope I've set my watch in advance mode or I do hope it's broken. I wish it wasn't Thursday. I wish all the other cars would shrink. I wish the jeep would go a wee bit faster!

As I got off the jeep, I ran all the way to the hospital gates, panting and trying to breathe, taking all positivity left of me while zooming towards the bundy clock. To my biggest dismay, I was 5 minutes late.

All was fairly well in the end.

the Brisk Walk

This day was the second day of my duty for our ICT training. The first day wasn’t much of a highlight because we just played as sponges observing all that’s currently happening in the tumultuous LMU and absorbing all the new information. Just so you know, LMU stands for La Milagrosa Unit. It’s the biggest unit in the hospital I’m currently in and also labeled as the most toxic area. Toxic, in nursing jargon, means you-will-never-have-a-chance-to-sit-down-on-yous-ass-because-there-will-always-be-too-much-things-to-do-so-don’t-forget-to-breathe.

For today, I didn’t just watch my senior do his stuff but I was to help him and accompany him to whatever he has to do. He was actually very good at what he was doing. I was overwhelmed with the pile of patient charts in front of him, and as he works through each of them, he makes specific calls to related departments either to ask about diagnostics or a need for reservation for the operating room. He zooms across the station getting the needed pile of documents while noting down doctor’s orders, while given a chance explains to me what he was trying to do, then noting things on the kardex and the charts. After much writing and discussing, he moves to prepare all the medicines for all his patients where he performs really quickly without any hesitations. Then he walks through the corridors of the huge unit, making it through each of the patients rooms accordingly  to give them their treatments, ask how the patients is, remind them if they need to fast for a surgery or they can’t void until they undergo a diagnostic procedure. These entire is not yet even the whole thing I went through.

The shift was a sprint. It was basically walking to and fro in the long halls of the hospital in a very fast pace and doing the tasks promptly like some sort of relay. I practically did the brisk walk a lot so as not to run in the hospital hallways making an impression that there’s someone coding. But whatever type of walking or pseudo-running I did, it resulted with ending up sleeping on my bed as soon as I get home and sleep-walking towards my confused cousin to whom I was half-consciously asking for food that didn't exist.

with all the fragmented movable entities tied to this tricky game I’m trying to play, designed to make one missed turn make a vast effect on the succeeding turns that will come, what can go wrong?

one particular valentine's day

I’ve been high-fived and spoken to by random people I don’t usually speak with. I can’t remember when was the last time I was in a place where almost every guy would high-five anybody when they think you both agree on something. What’s strange was I tend to have acquired this reflex that when they raise their hand, I instinctively do the same like some automatic response. Now, being around these different people doesn’t make me feel any tinge of any kind of new emotion anymore. Again, I can’t feel a thing, synonymous to almost being numb from everything, except being hungry and being randomly happy when someone attempts to do something funny. But if I take another look at this day, I remember the strongest emotion I felt was randomly talking about this new friend I met somewhere that made my stomach feel like there’s a knot inside. That was weird. For some reason, I feel like being friends with him don’t seem like a good idea but I still did. I need to figure this out.

today was grey

so the earth was spotted with murky puddles


and I settled walking under an umbrella
then stayed indoors and danced
took a new dose of laughter
drank coffee after a long time
and sang until I can't remember the lyrics

what love can’t cure

nights in crumpled sheets
she lie staring upon a screen
scattered with hushed glances
and thought out schemes


a song starts to spill the background
flocked with ringing keys
piano notes starts to linger
as she tries not to be teased


conversations now recurs
and his voice begins to play
of words said and meant
sprawled out on one fateful day


she remembers the blatant gaze
where his eyes never turned away
at chance he held her hands in his
and a distinct beat chose to stray


while she watched the screen evolve
lying once again in crumpled sheets
a trace of a familiar grin
starts to line across her cheeks


--majest, Feb5,2012 11:38PM

positivity+realism

tiny grains of
realizations wash over me
up to the ends of
my fingertips
as i grasp
and hold
and try to catch
every single detail
they slip right through
the gaps
now as i look around
they start to shine and sparkle
where i stood
waiting and watching
to what move i might do
i scoop the tiny things
gingerly now
and keep them safely
in my hands