I solemnly stare at the murky depths of a chocolate drink hoping to find solace from my random awkward loneliness

It just gives me a much deeper undaunted  paranoia that kept my head from whirring. My pensive thoughts refuse to be stopped so I succumb and drown, realizing how I’m truly physically alone. I am so hungry for anything that could bring back a spark. I seek for a physical touch, a hug perhaps, that would give out the warmth I couldn’t recognize. I need to listen again to voice that could encapsulate me and keep me amused. I realize how I’ve become a slave of anything sweet like a chocolate drink and how it seems to temporarily mend the failing cracks from the edges of my mind. 

8.24.13 

Musings

The people around me have spoken. They speak of wisdom that goes along the lines of commitment to a person they believe would be their person forever. They tell stories, rarely heard by my keen ears, where happiness and loneliness collide, overcome trials are called success, and the mere thought of having a someone even if it is far away feels better than having no one. A bunch of them hold on to these ties for they have lived with it. It taught them things I seem to have failed to learn. It is being committed to love. 

I have not yet been lost or lead to such musings. Thus, I'm doubtful, wondering, questioning what. However, I am curious, and has this utter urge to venture on these like sailing in uncharted waters. 

How do you define it? How do you set directions to find what you must seek and know if you've finally found what you are looking for? How can you know what envelopes it's entities when the only way you can answer all your questions is actually live in it?