Christmas Eve

For the first time, I spent this day away from my family. Apparently I'm still stuck in a big city that doesn't seem to be closest to home whatever way I adapt to look at it.

A few hours on Christmas eve, I bid my time in a long ride in a jeepney from Laguna to Alabang and to Taguig. I watched for a fragment of time how different kinds of people prepare for this special day. A tightly knit family was spending it in a mall, two dressed ladies must be on their way to be with their friends, a guy must be drunk since he can't get off the jeep properly. From afar, there's another kind of family making their way through a market and then there's a tall man seemingly off from work waiting to get a ride back home. You can't miss the people still on the streets at such time, selling Christmas things to people that pass by or blaring lights and sounds in a random house celebrating.

This time, I didn't have a feast like my childhood days, or played the speakers on our computer with Christmas songs just to feel the spirit. No moments of getting comfortable in my home cozy in a chair near the TV. My family is so far from where I'm at. The people I spend this day with aren’t present.

I arrived home tired from a long journey. It's already past 10 on my watch. The neighbors had their turn of loudspeakers to bring out a festive cheer. The children were glad lighting their own tiny piece of fireworks that wouldn't explode. There seems to be more people outside singing along with a karaoke, a group hung up on their corner drinking and a few brought out their prepared food outside for everyone.

I didn't think a lot. I didn't even want to think and feel anything. Like I said, I've given up asking for things that wouldn't happen. I made myself a dish, ate a small portion and have the internet tire me to sleep.

Christmas

Sound of cheers
Were repeated
For a number of times
Today but
I see just letters
And words formed
To force a bright smile
On someone’s face
It’s too early for fireworks
But the lights were pretty
For any wishing heart
That longs to be merry
Music blared in every
Corner you’d pass
Giving justice for
Any loud kind of posse
But today I settled staring
At the busy streets and
People with their
Own plans for one kind
Of season of feast
Today I just settled my
Wishing heart for a
Generous bowl of
My own dish