Tomorrow and Graduation Day

Tomorrow was the same day of my graduation last year. The same day where I received my diploma, and made a bow before the crowd. The same where I thought the food, the fireworks and my family and friends were the only best thing.

That same fateful day triggered a new beginning of my life. It’s the part where I no longer qualify as college student but someone armed with new responsibilities and more strains or must I say strings of challenges to face. Someone you’d label as an adult, though without a job yet, but still. Its the moment when I get to sail in uncharted waters known as reality and try my hardest to push through its uncertainties and storms. That day, I was on my own, given the power to make life decisions which I haven’t had the slightest clue to what would resolve.

Tomorrow, to the oddest circumstances, is the same day where a group of uncertain people will deliberate whether or not I am fit to work for them. I’ve luckily made it through their exams. I’ve experienced being grilled in their panel interview and a series more where I made it through alive. Now, having passed the latter so far, I qualified for their 2-months of training. The same which I didn’t look at so seriously until I’ve waltzed through their objective exams and hand-on exams on skills I haven’t had a clue before. Then there’s the on-the-job-sort-of-exam itself where I get to practice my profession on an actual clinical area.  I admit I was rough around the edges, with everything blaring at my face—diagnostics, exams, charts, medications, time, patients, people telling me to remember this and that and I must move faster—I have no idea how I pulled through. I was scared for some reasons, since it's my first time to actually work but had this feeling of happiness whenever I get a job done. The last week, however, was the worst because I’ve never been humiliated so much. Mistake upon mistake, they fall from my grasp, and there were two staffs, who for the worst time, keeps distracting me in every moment they lay eyes on me, laughing at my mistakes and challenging my patience in whatever way. I swore, I would stop their mocking the next time I see them. They were actually one of my eye openers to something with regards to humans, telling me that some people aren’t nice in whatever way you strain to look at them. But looking back at the entire experience of the training, if I sum up every single thing I've been through, I am grateful and thankful that I learned something new.

I hope tomorrow all goes well. I choose to be a believer now. I have faith that I’ve done my best in the training. I pray that this faith I hold will give me a peek on something to look forward to for the coming days.

For some reason, March 30th seems symbolic for one ordinary day. It’s an anniversary of the day I was given excruciating freedom which I’m still trying to get used to. And tomorrow’s event is something to celebrate for with wavering news that might become the next best thing.

Fireworks

—the most awesome part of the day (besides food) because I haven’t seen one for a long time!  waaah… ^__^

Graduation Day

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The Sky on Graduation Day

—it was rather gray and it drizzled on our heads as our guest speaker was making a speech. Anyway, all was well. This was sundown when the sky decided to give a hint of orange.)

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me and my karaoke buddies on our last days of being actual students.

and we’re like “hello graduation!”

i’m going to miss this bunch. >_<

I don't want to be teary on Graduation Day

…but just thinking of all the the things that has happened that will eventually bring me to this fateful day is a nice brew of nostalgia.

I can still remember how i got admitted to my college. I was asked to wait in the long line of applicants for an interview. I was hoping hard that i’d get in so i need not enroll for the unaccessible school. Half-asleep and too early, i was sitting by the corridor of the school with my father waiting for the results. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the list until my father looked through himself and told me I just passed with the familiar grin on his face. He was more glad. The date was May 23. The number I then considered as my luck. The day that I knew where it’ll all start. My birthday. 

It was first year when everything was awkward. I can’t seem to know where to go. First years seems to stick together a lot because they’re afraid to lose each other. So weird how i think way back, i was so ignorant to the the course i just took. Thus, the awkward. 

The second year was the year i started to realize what rode i just took. It means blood, needles and pain. I feel weak with blood especially if its mine. I’m not scared of needles but thinking of it going into my body is another thing. And the pain, it was the awful part when we needed to practice injecting our group mate to pass our subject. Then again, I can still remember the colorful anatomy books and the coloring book that comes with it. I missed it for some reason.

Third year was the part where I was all enthusiastic with the hospital and what says on our books. I was at peak of learning new things. I looked forward to duty days than school days. Duty days were always fun because i belonged to an awesome group. This was also the year when Thursdays turned into “Tears-day” because our minds were all bleeding during such day. On this single day every week, we tackle 7 concepts, one professor each, every hour. It was exhausting and brain-wrecking. There are days our batch turn out to be walking zombies as we move one room to another for each concept because each of our professors gives an exam or recitation all at the same time. Imagine our minds cramped every single week. Even if this year has given me lots of sleepless nights and headaches, i missed it a lot. 

Right now, I’m on my last weeks of being a college student. The final exams is just so near. I feel goosebumps again. I can’t believe it. One more duty schedule, a few more weeks to go, some strolls and moments i never thought i’d keep, a few more reasons to sit as ducks, waiting, more of insomnia nights, and beads of sweat still on our brows, the day is almost near. 

I’m taking this all in with a smile across my face. 

 *tears. :’)