i found the tiny notebook i bought 2 years ago with all my thoughts in it.

how to lose them stressors

• eat ice cream
• write
• play your favorite music
• watch a happy movie
• talk to your best bud
• run
• scream
• throw things against your wall

my siblings

could pass as halloween costume. man-kids.

i’m a fan of this eccentric character.

kiko machine

Life’s greatest comfort is being able to look over your shoulder and see people worse off, waiting in line behind you. --Rant, Chuck Palahniuk

rampeolas brings back weird nostalgic memories. ~_~

Restless Thinking

I’m restless again. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m going to do next. By next, I mean the future what I’ll be.

I imagine myself standing in the middle of a hundred paths. Not just two, a hundred. (see restless) that’s complicated altogether. I’m thinking if I’d be searching for my career here in my place, or somewhere far and adventurous. I wonder how I’m going to do it. I’m thinking if I’ll start off on the easiest I know or good at, or try taking risks by learning something new I’d always love doing. I wonder what choices exist at present and if there are more. I wonder

today, it’s sunday but it feels like a monday. then thursdays feels like fridays. and fridays doesn’t feel like a friday. weekends don’t exist. happy days. happy days. thanks to my college course.

-random

siblings and the night sky

generalized anxiety disorder

i think i’m starting to have this thing. because a few months from now, i’m going to take the board exam of some sort. T_T

symptoms were:

• fatiguability
• irritability
• restlessness
• muscle tension

when it’s daytime, i’d always yawn like i’m too tired to wake up. 3-4 times in a week, after a long day, you’d see me asleep in my bed till 8 pm and i haven’t ate my dinner because i’m too tired. my friends then starts to notice that i kept having a “flat affect” with eyes half closed and staring at nowhere. i think i just need more sleep but i think its lazy and i’d rather do other things than snoozing. (?) i’d just fall asleep when i’m either reading a book or staring at the *post-its across my wall.

then i’ve become irritable too. i have no idea when i had this type of temper. whenever people kept bothering me at home when i’m alone doing some school work, i become really terrible and irritable. i need to control myself whenever i kept saying awful words. i become upset more easily. then after which, i would recuperate by being alone again and hating what i just did.

i’m just not sure about the last two symptoms. i can’t tell because when i’m restlesss, i fight it by thinking. maybe i’ve been thinking restlessly and it doesn’t show physically. muscle tension, not yet(?) anyway.

wah! i should stop thinking about what my disorder is. but GAD isn’t the only thing on my disorder list. but whatever.

you should try studying psychiatry. it makes you think what you really are. what your disorder is. like i do. this is what happens when you know things some don’t.

*my post-its has things i need to memorize before the exam. :)

pseudo-gum balls

remember far back when i posted about giant gum balls when they’re actually 6lbs-bowling balls? my friend (ate jen) posted this picture of us on facebook and it looks really memorable. wah… and nostalgic too. within a semester, rarely do we go strolling because of our hectic school work. but when we have some break we usually go to the mall and karaoke, and stroll some more. our bowling event was actually planned for a long time and it always gets postponed because everyone is busy or something. but then again, it has happened. :))

i’ll be off college soon. i’m going to miss these stuff for sure.

dolce far niente