Sunday, February 27, 2011

I wonder how it would feel like if every time I would study, there’d be a cheering monkey beside me. That would be something. HAHAH. :D
I’m still on study mode. The final exams the other day wasn’t the only exam i’m going to take this year. There’s the exam against being lazy, being weak, being pessimistic and being depressed. And there’s the local boards. 
I need all the cheer I can get to pass these all. Now, maybe, that’ll include an imaginary cheering monkey. ^__^

Saturday, February 26, 2011

I’m going to miss college

Even if it’s the part that has given me much trials and confusions
Even if it opened my eyes to what is reality
Even if it made me feel indifferent and sad
Even if it changed me a lot
College is where…
I met tons of amazing people i’ll never forget
I knew and did a lot of new things
I saw millions of beautiful places
I changed for the best
4 years…
I learned a lot.
And it isn’t over yet.
me and my karaoke buddies on our last days of being actual students. 
and we’re like “hello graduation!”
i’m going to miss this bunch. >_<

me and my karaoke buddies on our last days of being actual students.
and we’re like “hello graduation!”
i’m going to miss this bunch. >_<

Friday, February 25, 2011

side effects of the latter

Late night and I drink this cup of coffee. I wasn't even planning to stay up all night and do some work. But the smell of temptation bit, asking me to be drowned in whatever sweet sense i could gain at the moment. It's a perfect cup. It erased the fact that I have trouble sleeping and i need to be early the very next day. I thought, what are the side effects anyway? I just took all the sweet goodness and let myself drown in euphoric doom.

There's no harm in asking for the better, isn't it? All things good are actually coined as good. Every tiny expensive thing to pleasurable vices that does seem to make one feel (awfully) good is perfect. Another late night with a couple of smokes and booze, some dirty chats that doesn't seem to make sense, a few good gossips whispered here and there, making the other feel better about themselves. Some strings of lies that goes a long way that doesn't affect much until one gets stabbed right back. It's good. It's the perfect cup.

We tend to look for what makes us feel good. We ask for things because it makes us feel good about ourselves. We do try to stick to what is simple and just. We try not to complain and be contented of what we have. But we are always seeking for something else. We tend to keep looking for more. At some point, we start to take some bad things as good because it makes us feel good anyway. And that's where it all starts. Sometimes, we just take whatever is good for us and disregard whatever consequences it will have in the future. We walk to a masked plague and fail to notice what it'll do for us. We keep holding on for it forgetting everything else that actually mattered.

I just love the taste of coffee. I love it because its sweet. The scent of it grabs hold of my senses. Its warmth never fails to bring comfort when i'm cold. It's hue even gives a distinct character.

The best part of this idiosyncrasy is whenever I end up regretting in my bed because i took what is "good" stealing me some precious hours of sleep.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

i was with a guy in the rain and everything was oblivious

the guy started to walk away and i moved to follow him.
then he stopped walking  and faced me again. 
he seems worried.
he held my shoulders and said,
“you can’t like me…”
i was puzzled and confused
i just replied,
“huh. what? but i don’t like like you.”
the end.
image
what i dreamed of last night. it just makes no sense. hahaha. sorry.
MAJ is STUDY MODE!
i remember you sunny silhouettes
how you kissed and warmed the window i was peering in
how on that fateful day when i’d have to say farewell
amidst the cold mist that had me embraced
you woke me with a smile after a weary journey’s way
now though a lot of time has passed
though some vague memories wouldn’t last
i remember, 
i will still remember
you sunny silhouettes.
(05032010)

Monday, February 21, 2011

maybe i want to be a doctor

i still need enough courage though.

I’ve seen unconditional love

Today, at the emergency room, pediatric section, a  grandpa was cheering his 1-year old grandson. His grandson had just vomited milk and started to cry uncontrollably. So his grandma made him sat on her lap while his grandpa do funny body gestures to make the child stop his sobs. Even until the child has calmed down, he kept comforting the child to the extent that he was blowing the site were a needle was inserted for his IV. The rare scene lasted for a few hours until the grandpa and his grandson finally slept side-by-side on their bed.

It was such an inspiring sight. Hopefully, when the child is all grown-up, he’ll never forget this part of his life where someone never left him alone and gave him all the protection he needed without anything in return.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I don't want to be teary on Graduation Day

…but just thinking of all the the things that has happened that will eventually bring me to this fateful day is a nice brew of nostalgia.
I can still remember how i got admitted to my college. I was asked to wait in the long line of applicants for an interview. I was hoping hard that i’d get in so i need not enroll for the unaccessible school. Half-asleep and too early, i was sitting by the corridor of the school with my father waiting for the results. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the list until my father looked through himself and told me I just passed with the familiar grin on his face. He was more glad. The date was May 23. The number I then considered as my luck. The day that I knew where it’ll all start. My birthday. 
It was first year when everything was awkward. I can’t seem to know where to go. First years seems to stick together a lot because they’re afraid to lose each other. So weird how i think way back, i was so ignorant to the the course i just took. Thus, the awkward. 
The second year was the year i started to realize what rode i just took. It means blood, needles and pain. I feel weak with blood especially if its mine. I’m not scared of needles but thinking of it going into my body is another thing. And the pain, it was the awful part when we needed to practice injecting our group mate to pass our subject. Then again, I can still remember the colorful anatomy books and the coloring book that comes with it. I missed it for some reason.
Third year was the part where I was all enthusiastic with the hospital and what says on our books. I was at peak of learning new things. I looked forward to duty days than school days. Duty days were always fun because i belonged to an awesome group. This was also the year when Thursdays turned into “Tears-day” because our minds were all bleeding during such day. On this single day every week, we tackle 7 concepts, one professor each, every hour. It was exhausting and brain-wrecking. There are days our batch turn out to be walking zombies as we move one room to another for each concept because each of our professors gives an exam or recitation all at the same time. Imagine our minds cramped every single week. Even if this year has given me lots of sleepless nights and headaches, i missed it a lot. 
Right now, I’m on my last weeks of being a college student. The final exams is just so near. I feel goosebumps again. I can’t believe it. One more duty schedule, a few more weeks to go, some strolls and moments i never thought i’d keep, a few more reasons to sit as ducks, waiting, more of insomnia nights, and beads of sweat still on our brows, the day is almost near. 
I’m taking this all in with a smile across my face. 
 *tears. :’)

Monday, February 14, 2011


May you never steal, lie or cheat
But if you must steal, steal away my sorrows,
And if you must lie, then lie with me in all the nights of my life,
And if you must cheat then, please cheat death
Because I can’t live a day without you in my life
Leap Year

feb 14

just last year at this same day, i felt like i was floating. i think was dreaming back then. i was floating along the school halls thinking of you. just you. wanting to see you even for a glimpse. desiring to talk to you just to hear your voice. the entire day, i can’t remember anything else but you.
makes perfect sense
makes perfect sense